Seeing the good at 4am - tired!

See The Good At 4am

Yes well, I have been trying to see the good.  But sometimes I just forget, often for several days. This morning, I was awake at 4am and trying to find the good in that.

It was hard, as frankly, I was pissed off.

It seems wrong, to start the day feeling cross about being awake when you don’t want to be.  I lay there thinking about seeing the good and really was challenged to find any.   Then it came to me.  I realised that if I got up and went into the living room I wouldn’t get bitten by mosquitoes.  It is the cool season and the house is wonderfully free of mosses at the moment.    I think that is a good attempt at seeing the good at 4am.  Shallow but not bad.

As I’ve mentioned before;  difficulty falling asleep, waking up frequently during the night, difficulty returning to sleep and waking up too early in the morning;  these are all part of the FUN of the peri-menopausal DECADE before you reach fully fledged menopausal – dom.    I googled, “why does menopause give you insomnia” and the long, JOLLY list of articles and books is wonderful.

Full of titles such as; The Change Before the Change: Everything You Need to Know to Stay Healthy in the Decade Before Menopause by Laura E. Corio, Linda G. Kahn · BANTAM DELL · Paperback · 448 pages · ISBN 0553380311

Could It Be Perimenopause?: How Women 35-50 Can Overcome Forgetfulness, Mood Swings, Insomnia, Weight Gain, Sexual Dysfunction, and Other Telltale Signs of Hormonal Imbalance.by Steven R. Goldstein, Laurie Ashner · Vermilion · Paperback · 242 pages · ISBN 0091816696

I have read neither, I am sure they are brilliant.   BUT don’t the titles make you want to run from them screaming?   I still can’t get over the fact that I DIDN’T KNOW peri-menopause was coming to get me – and thousands of others.

How come I didn’t know?

I feel sure that a hint, an idea, a warning, a clue  should have been given to me by someone, a doctor perhaps?  I should have seen something, a glossy pamphlet or brochure?

You don’t need to read anything, except THIS blog; because I will tell you, why you can’t sleep for 10 years.   Your flipping ovaries decrease the production of progesterone – which is a sleep-promoting hormone.

I know in time that, I have to come to terms with my lot; but not yet; no bloody way.  I am still outraged.   How come I knew so little about these wonderful hormones?    I never appreciated them when I had enough of them, as I thought they were mine to keep.   Enough to snore sweetly through the whole night.

THE WHOLE NIGHT.     EVERY NIGHT.

 

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