I Was A Man

Dear Sleep – I Was A Man

Until I was 44. No I haven’t had a sex change, but I have rather concertina-ed all my girly bodily functions into just FIVE YEARS. Prior to which I was a man or rather an honorary man, in a world where there still weren’t many women.  It all changed when I got pregnant at age 44.

Darling baby appeared and then after one miscarriage, I started the “many paws”.  Most women are maybe less extreme and spread all these functions out to give themselves a bit of a break imbetween.  I realise that I was sleep deprived as a new mother and then went straight into being sleep deprived because I was peri-menopausal.  No wonder I obsess about it so much.

I sailed through my pregnancy, I was extremely fit and cycled and went to the gym, including doing spinning classes till my legs couldn’t go on the pedals because of the bump.  I definitely did not read anything, as having started one book, the list of things that could go wrong was too horrendous to bear.  

I even heard of varicose veins in your jacksie. Yuk.  The worst I had was constipation for a month and that was bad enough. I didn’t handle that very well at all.  

I went to the ante natal classes, always late from work and always in the rush.  They didn’t tell me anything really useful like how to take care of your baby and how to put it to sleep or what to do with it on the first day you would be alone at home.  I was surrounded by a group of professional women who were all having their first babies, we were all better at our work than being “about to be” parents and we were all terrified.

Once she was born, I realised that there are not just two human species but three. There are men and women who are single or partnered and who DO NOT have children. Then there are parents and then there are children.  I moved from the first category at the age of 45 into the the third category – overnight.  I even went with my husband to Libya for a trip to the desert when I was 6 months pregnant for a final big adventure before tiny treasure was going to appear.  I am now aghast at my recklessness.

I see parallels with the peri-menopause  as there are many sub sets of humans affected by it;

a) The Afflicted

b) Someone married to/partner of the Afflicted

c) Child of the Afflicted

d) Relative of the Afflicted

e) Friend of the Afflicted

f) Colleagues of the Afflicted

I’ve decided that we all need to learn more about ALL our key hormones not just estrogen and progesterone, I am 4 years in and I am onto them now. In fact we need to know about them from school age, so as to get ready for the peri-menopausal period as a matter of course in our 30s and 40s and not get caught with our pants down as it were.


Leave a Comment