Alright well the truth is that I have lost weight with my different tablets and my restricted diet. That is good as I can now fit into the clothes I had for 20 years before I became a fat bastard – temporarily – last year. There was just one tiny problem. When you lose weight it tends to be everywhere so my bras were too big. I had just bought 6 new ones from the bra shop in the UK. They were woman handled unfrotunately as we don’t have a washing machine.
Everything is washed by hand and then ironed in case any mango flies have laid their eggs in the folds of your clothes. They especially like bras and underpants seams. Kinky really. Anyway because they had been washed with energy and then ironed with alacrity and vigour the padding had sort of collapse in at least one of the cups of each of the 6 new bras. This took about 2 weeks. Although they were too big, I had still been wearing them. I didn’t have anything else and I am also not very fussy. HOWEVER, even I noticed that they made me look a bit weird. Shortly after I had thought maybe I better buy the right size and get them sent over with the next person coming over, someone came over to me at a friend’s birthday party and said, “Ithought you had the menopause, I didn’t realise you were lactating as well. I think the pad has slipped”. How mortifying. Ok I was officially independent of my bras and they of me.
I did a bit of training on how not to attack bras with an iron and as I am not like Madonna who chooses from time to time to wear bras with pointy bits for concerts, I sold them and am waiting for my new batch to come with a friend and her suitcase. Don’t worry, I have one old one which is fine while I am waiting.