I cannot stop singing the whole nursery rhyme now it is completely on my brain. Ever since I lost my breakfast this morning that is. I try so hard to be organised. It is really important when you have to get up SO early to do the school run. I get as much done the night before but frankly I don’t know why I bother. Unless my key items are chained to me, I still misplace them all the time.
It is called brain fog, memory loss and other lovely things like that. I seem to have it most of the time. A couple of weeks ago, I downloaded an app called PEAK, recommended to me by a friend. She was playing it surreptiously last week in the second row from the front, at the threatre during the annual children’s show. That had nothing to do with the peri-menopause, anyway back to the app. I put my age in and then played the assessment games which include memory, probability, problem solving and other key right hemisphere, executive function skills. Hmmm…..I really wasn’t firing on all the cyclinders for my age. It was very spooky seeing the little chart thing showing me this, however onwards and upwards as they say.
I will just quickly have a go so I can explain. Alright I have just done two of the games. I could do the word pairs when you have to decide which sets of words mean the opposite and which mean the same. BUT where I really need to re-train my synaptic connections is in the memory games. The one I just did is where you get shown a shape and you have to tick yes or no to a series of other images while you decide if it is the same or not. It gets faster and then starts adding the question is it similar to the previous one. OMG, I was sweating. That was the one that my friend was doing in the threatre. She wasn’t sweating though. She is NOT peri-menopausal though. The other one I can’t do very well (YET), is the one which has a cube and you have to memorise where the crosses are. You then choose a path for the exploding circles to get to each other without using any of the boxes which have crosses hidden in them. It starts out with only 9 squares in easy to remember formations, but then rapidly tries to kick your ass by increasing the numbers of the boxes and the configurations of the crosses. I just hope that this brain training will help me remember where I put things. There is no doubt other glorious decade symptoms have come and gone and returned and gone again. BUT this wafty, forgetfulness has stayed firmly put…
This morning I had made my breakfast, quinoa flakes heated up with home made coconut milk, to which I had added a drizzle of chia seeds and a soupçon of flaxseeds. I topped this with a half cup of berries – rasp to be precise. This delectable mixture was placed, note the use of the passive voice, on the small table in the kitchen by the door through which I always leave the house from. It is, therefore the place where I put everything that has to leave with me, apart from my child. She is a bit big to put there. I should though, as I don’t always remember her either.
So this bowl is sitting there happily waiting to be ingested. It waits and it waits. Five minutes after putting it there, I start looking for it, in the usual places. I yell, “have you seen my breakfast?” ” No,” TT yells back. I dive under the mosquito net, “is it here, did I give it to you?” No not under the mossie net. There are lots of other things under the mossie net. Two books, one phone, one watch, one pair of lopsided glasses, one computer and 2 t-shirts. And Hubs.
It’s 6.13am. We were in perfect time before this. It’s now 6.14am. Time for one more look – in my bedroom, the bathroom, the living room, TT’s room, the kitchen. It is nowhere to be seen. Now I start swearing about the bloody pixies which seem to inhabit my house and after messing up your hair at night move onto making mischief with your keys, your phone and your breakfast.
It was 6.23am. No good, we would have to leave. So we did. Without my breakfast. I walked straight past it, as I already had all the things I needed in my hand…as did TT. 10 minutes later I was back and walked in again, past the table where my breakfast was signalling to me silently and pointing at itself. I got out another bowl and repeated the entire process – quinoa flakes heated up with home made coconut milk, to which I again added a drizzle of chia seeds and a soupçon of flaxseeds. I again topped this with a half cup of berries – rasp to be precise. Suddenly I remembered something I had to do. Take TT’s school shorts for repair. This was urgent and demanded that I put them on the table instantly before the thought left me as quickly as it had arrived. I got them and put them on the table.
I saw my first breakfast. I looked at it and remembered…
I swear those quinoa flakes, the chai seeds and the flax seeds, all organic and all brought from the UK in lieu of any new clothes, were laughing at me.
Or do you think I am imagining it?