34B to 36DD I kid you not. Do you want to know how you too can achieve this? Remember I told you about the first guinea-pigologist I saw four years ago? The one who mentioned in passing the ten year change process…IN PASSING, AS IF IT WASN’T THAT BIG A DEAL.
One paragraph in and I’m ranting already.
Anyway, he prescribed estradiol transdermal gel and told me to use it on my legs once a day. I duly trotted off to the pharmacy and bought a tube; and all the other 6 tubes remaining in stock; in case they ran out. It is Dar es Salaam after all. I had to go to the cash point for the second lot, as they cost lots of USDs.
I rushed home to apply it and waited. It seemed that within about half an hour, my boobs took on a life of their own and were straining at my bra. Fuck though, the pain was tremendous. I had to wear my maternity bra in bed – (imagine bringing your maternity bra with you in your container from the UK)? Well, I say it was a good thing I did.
If my daughter touched me anywhere between my tummy button and my neck it was so sore. Cuddling was like torture. Going to bed was torture, breathing was torture. Being was torture. My boobs were rock hard, huge and agony. I thought I must have used too much, so I assumed that if I used less, it would be fine. In hindsight, the words – very stupid – come to mind, but at the time I never thought to go back to the doctor.
I carried on for 2 weeks. I am ashamed to write this, then I FINALLY called the guinea-pig-ologist. Only he wasn’t there. My main man who said he would be available to monitor me when I really needed it wasn’t around. Not only was he not around, he was not in Dar, he was in the UK, having surgery as he was elderly and had in fact retired. I went to the “ordinary” doctor, who said “oh dear”, we will pass on the information. I never heard from either of them again.
This was the beginning of my interaction with front line medical services in relation to being peri-menopausal.
I stopped the gel, my boobs went back to normal and I was able to breath, walk, cuddle and go to bed and other activities that normal people engage in during the course of an ordinary day. But I still had all the peri-menopausal symptoms – so I changed doctors.
By the way, if anyone needs any estradiol transdermal gel I still have 6 tubes of the stuff, complete with the little plastic measuring applicator device, which is unfortunately not very precise.
There is no rush, they expire in about 2084.